I love night time.
Often I stood at the novitiate window and looked out.
The garden was wrapped in darkness and silence.
I could see the silhouette of trees, bushes.
It all looked so magical by night.
I felt like a princess in one of the story books.
Instead of a seventeen year old postulant at a monastery.
The night felt so warm and tender, and God was never more near.
I would stand there and soak in the feeling of closeness to God.
A few minutes, savoring the magic of the night, relishing the closeness to God.
And I would make my way to the Novitiate oratory to engage in meditation.
That was not easy. In fact, it was very hard.
It means walking up the dark staircase, along a dark corridor before entering the oratory.
I would kneel, half turned toward the opening,
again, in case devils or spirits enter in.
I would engage in meditation, my mind petrified with fear.
Yet I did it often.
The draw was the tabernacle.
From the oratory I was able to look into the chapel and see the tabernacle.
It was being with the presence of Jesus.
Meditating in his presence.
It was at the oratory, four years later when I heard the words,
"Not yet but I will," when I asked God if he was giving me the prayer of quiet,
a supernatural form of prayer.
And that was the first locution I received or inner hearing.
But I am moving ahead of time.
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