God and godself

This is about my struggle with perception of God.

It is not the one where I was told,

Here, we do not use the name, God.

No, it was when I was told God is not a personal God.

And that from the Law of One which holds God

as an impersonal being, the Infinite Creator,

who is too immense to be a personal God.

It was akin to removing God from me.

How could God not be a personal God?

when I experience his Divine Providence 

taking care of me at every turn.

Then it was the Indian mystics.

Our real selves is the god self.

With that, videos of "we are gods" sprang up on my youtube feed.

My question, how can we be gods?

Ended up with,  how are we gods?

I struggled with that for months.

I struggled with it in my channeling.

We are gods by participation, I found myself channeling at one time.

Googled it and found that to be true.

From Indian mystics, I went into philosophers, metaphysicians and physicists.

I started getting impressions of how we could be gods.

Take the Ocean as an example.

God, the Infinite creator is the Ocean, and we, drops of the ocean.

Since we come from the Ocean, God, it means we are gods in participation.

Look at the Sun, God is the Sun.

We are the rays.

The sun which is God, remains whole, while shedding us, the rays.

These help but still do not nail it for me.

Finally, one did.

We are particles of God. 

No, we are not God.

God is so immense, he contained the entire universe within himself.

We are not able to do that.

We are this miniscule particle of God.

That makes a lot of sense to me.

Today, at meditation,

I regained my God.

I saw myself, a drop from the ocean sinking into the ocean, God.

I am in God, immersed in him, surrounded by him.

He is in everything around us, the air we breathe,

the sun that shines on us, the moon, the stars.

The birds that sing.

The trees, the animals.

The people around us, the extraterrestrials who watch over us.

The saints, angels, invisible beings around us.

God is in everything.

Close our eyes, and we can lose ourselves in this Infinity which is God.

Above all, he is this Divine Spark in us.

Closer to us than our own beings.

He is the Source,  the Divine Being, the Infinite Creator.