When I first learned God is not a personal God.

It was the hardest.

It was akin to losing my God.

If God is not a personal God.

Then how do I turn to him?

Ever since I experienced him in contemplative prayer,

I look inside of me and I see him.

This ever present indwelling of him in me.

Then the second reality, you are god.

I struggled even harder with that.

Trying to understand how that is.

I understood Indian mystics to imply we are god.

Atman being Brahman.

It was the philosophers, physicists who help me understand it.

We are particles of God.

Like a drop of water in the ocean,

A wave rising from the ocean.

A ray of sunlight from the sun.

We are multiplicity of God in the Oneness

Which is God, or Divine Creator.

Now I see myself as swimming in God.

I regained my God.

I look at myself and I am in God.

I want to live immersed in God.

The mystics, saints and sages did and do it.

I am able to do it.

Having attained to that oneness with God.

That oneness where I become oblivison of me as the self.

And there is only that immensity, the Oneness of God.

But you are so ordinary.

My physical self told me.

So very ordinary.

Yes, but I have that Divine Richness in me.

You do not even have visions, or precognitive knowledge like saints and sages.

Yes, but I am experiencing the pure essence of God.

And that is deeper, higher than any visions or precognitive knowledge.

To attain to that Oneenss.

When one is lost in God. 

In that infinity.

That is sublime.

The fact I am still explaining it myself means I am not completely there.

But close.

When nothing matters but God and God alone.

Then I am there.