My Path to God, Childhood. #7, St. Francis of Assisi and a high

We were mostly 14 year olds, in the class of Form Two.

When our principal, Sister Cecily passed down pamphlets of convents.

I want to be a nun because my father is very important and I might get kidnapped.

My classmate, Betty, seated next to me commented.

I heard her yet did not really hear her, something else had exploded in my mind.

I promised God I will become a nun if he helped me pass my primary six examinations.

I passed the examinations but forgot my promise to God.

How could I forget a promise made to God?

I want to become a nun also, I told her, vowing inwardly to become one.

At the school library, I came across a book, Life of St. Francis of Assisi.

I read it and it put me high on air, on fire.

God came alive for me. 

Not only God but nature.

I sang with Saint Francis of Assisi.

I rode on a high.

I felt as holy, pure and sinless as he.

There was a song in my heart, my head and my spirit.

I rode on that high for a few weeks then down I came.

I did not have anyone to tell me, one cannot remain on a spiritual high.

Sooner or later, one has to come down from it.

Not even fourteen years of age, since my birthday fell in December,

I could not understand all that and was very distressed.

I raided the library for more books on saints but alas, that fire was never kindled again.

Not to that extent.

By the end of that year, I grew interested in reading romance books and boys.

And that desire went out the window again till two years later.

My sister Lily announced she wanted to become a nun.

You a nun? It was I who wanted to become a nun in the first place.

My desire was kindled anew.

I wrote to the nuns of the Carmelite Monastery.

The mother prioress replied in no time.

I read her letter, perplexed. I did not tell her I wanted to become a nun there.

I asked her for prayers that I will become a nun.

Shortly after, I read the book, Life of Mother Catherine Thomas.

And that sealed the fate for me.

She was a Carmelite nun.

I decided I wanted to be a Carmelite nun.

Or the black nuns as they are called because of the habit they wore.

Dark brown instead of white.

They were also known to be very strict and austere.

That did not faze me.