I am filled with a sense of happiness.
I look within myself, I see happiness and wellness of being.
If I am in this travail, and yet able to experience such inner peace and joy.
It means only on thing, I am well on my path to enlightenment.
It is like my inner spirit stays clear and freed of all dross.
Strange incident yesterday, Wednesday 2/27/2025.
The night prior, my sister called, trying to drum into me,
the fact I am being deluded.
You have a good solid faith in your religion, why dabble in all this?
She went on and on and on, and I felt irritation rising.
I told her, I believe in all these, ETs, earth's ascension to fourth density etc.
When the veil lifted and I saw something, I saw myself for a few seconds.
Was I being brainwashed, was it a cult?
No, no, I pushed it aside. I believe in all of these.
As usual, whenever I turn away from something, I turn back and look at it.
As I looked at it, another one came in, the collective I was channeling,
Was I like those in love, blinded by love?
The energy I channeled is real, but what really was it?
I uploaded the video on my channel and played it.
It was missing the last portion. I deleted it and reloaded it.
When I heard with urgency, my spirit team telling me to delete my new channel.
I had deleted my old one and created a new one with the name mystic lotus.
It was a channel on my mystical path.
Later, I asked spirit why I was so inspired to make that video,
only to be told to delete the new channel.
Last night, the answer came to me.
At the monastery, had I left when the crisis hit,
I would have left without a bang and a glow.
I left after I effected a spiritual revolution.
It is the same this time round.
Had I left when I received a Cease and Desist letter from a psychic reader.
I would be seen as running away, tail between my legs.
I left my old channel, and within 24 I created the new channel
and had it up and running.
I left, demonstrating my true mettle.
I felt nothing but freedom and joy.
Which is the strangest thing.
I look at my path with God and experience that joy and glow.
I have always said, my youtube channel is secondary.
If it is removed, I will be fine and I am.
Now a new phase begins.
I told the Collectives I channel that I am leaving them.
I do not know anything anymore.
I am going back to my old roots and will turn to the Holy Spirit, my spirit team.
If they are real, I am able to feel them and hear them.
For now, I will stay immersed in God.
You would think I have learned it by now, I have not.
When I am not going deep into meditation,
it means I am being distracted by what I am doing.
And Universe would deliver me a kick to get back on track.
The last time it happened, it was so painful.
But the result was amazing.
I complained to the Universe I do not like that form of suffering.
Universe asked me, "Do you get to choose your suffering?"
I do not and accepted it.
I got careless and now I got hit with the same whack.
Again I told the Universe, I do not like this kind of suffering.
And remember their responses the last time I asked.
The same is happening.
I am being drawn deep into my soul.
I am aware this is a period of grace.
And I will go in deeper still.
Universe did it, pushing me up another level.
I close my eyes and I am able to go deep deep within.
This is a moment of grace.
My role on my spiritual path?
To demonstrate the fact, an ordinary person
Can attain to this inner state of being,
called ecstasy by Christian mystics and samadhi by Indian mystics.
It is a state of being, where you are taken over by a Force
An energy you know to be God, Source or Primal Force.
It takes you over, with you increasingly losing your sense of awareness
Of everything around you.
You are drawn deeper and deeper into yourself.
Your mind is cleared of all thoughts.
Your being cleared of everything.
You just are in this infinity, lost in space.
Lost even in consciousness of yourself.
Lost in this immense space which is God Himself.
It is so peaceful and you could stay there forever.
Effortless, you do not have to expend any energy
and just be in that nothingness which is everything.
I sit, still as a statue, on a chair, left leg over right.
And sink deep into the depths of my being.
And look at the spot where my third chakra is.
What do I see?
I see Buddhist monks sitting in meditation, hours on end.
It takes discipline, endurance.
The longer one sits, the deeper one goes.
And then, there is oblivion and non being.
One is lost in infinity.
Times cease to register and everything is at a standstill.
That is what is called a no self.
The self no longer is, only infinity is.
The soul is empty, the mind is empty.
With no self, there is no need to think or even to be.
Lost in that infinity.
Lost in a deep silence.
In that silence is existence.
Suspended in time and space, one simply is.
The breathing eases, one could slow down breath,
To where it is hardly breathing.
One just is, in this space, deeper and deeper.
There is no other awareness.
Just this deep space within.
One has reached the spirit form.
Which is a full emptiness.
Empty to human perception,
fullness to the spirit.
This is why Buddhism does not have a God.
The tangible God that we have,
who is God in three, three in one,
who hears and listens to our prayers.
That is not what they experience.
They experience this emptiness of being.
When the self cease to exist.
And they are one with that empty space,
Who is fullness of being.
We call it God.
What do they call it?
It is a consciousness that grips the soul.
This consciousness just is.
It is there for everything and everyone.
It is our essence.
This means all who seek it are able to find it.
To experience it.
It takes however dedication, desire which not all have.
But when touched by the spirit.
When awaken then there is that longing, desire,
For this something higher.
Beyond all senses and in the spirit.
It is the spirit in us, the God is us.
Once awakened, it draws us inexorably to itself.
It takes us over.
And we can only be taken over.
Bit by bit it breaks down all resistance.
Like water sloshing over stones, rocks in the stream.
Clearing everything in its path.
So the almighty that works in our soul.
Soul and spirit, what is soul, what is spirit?
That is for another day as I sit and look at my third eye chakra.
My higher self, help me channel Source.
I dwell in the depths of your being.
The Divine Spark you heard about.
That is me.
You do not have to go far looking for me.
For I am in you and in everything around you.
I am the entire Universe.
How do you think you come into me?
Do you see me creating you like a sculptor, a masterpiece?
No, I created you from my being.
You came from me.
The entire Universe came from me.
See it as Consciousness.
I am the immensity of Consciousness.
Encompassing everything within that Consciousness.
Within that Consciousness is the entire Universe.
That Consciousness is the Oneness.
Within this Oneness, you come into being.
Hence you are all connected, interconnected.
There is no separation.
Whatever you are, whatever you do,
it affects everything within you and outside of you.
When you realize this truth, all you have to do,
is sink into yourself and I am there.
All you have to do is look around you,
And I am there.
I am everywhere and in everything.
To many, I lay asleep in your breasts.
Unawakened, dormant.
But when you awaken to me, by happenings in your life.
Or when you feel the inner stirrings of me,
Within you then I am a Force.
Once awakened, you would never be able to forget me.
And move inexorably, like stone towards its center.
For that is the power of me.
So awaken to me.
Wake me up.
Daily, live, your inner eyes fixed on me.
In awareness of me.
Babaji, a few nights ago, I saw a snake in my dream.
I marveled at the fact I dare look at it.
In real life, I do not like to look at even pictures of snake.
The snake was big, long and fat, yellow in color.
It looked at me then tried to engage me,
widening his mouth into a smile, making motion with it,
like trying to engage me, to talk to me.
I knew it was not an ordinary snake.
And wondered what the message was.
Last night, I read, Conversation with Mahavatar Babajji, Pallavi.
And learn he could be snake, Vasuki, serpent king closely connected to Shiva.
I had asked Babaji to come in a dream to me.
I asked Babaji why snake, you know I do not like snake.
His answer was, you were not afraid, were you?
He is right, I was not afraid.
Babaji, was that you visiting me as a snake in my dream?
Who else could it be?
What else could it be?
You remember the snake vividly.
You are still able to capture it in your memory.
Etched in your memory.
How else could it be than me?
You pray to me, yet you do not really believe.
Is he real, you asked?
It sounds more like a fable, a make believe than real.
When you believe I am real hundred percent, you will see me.
However, do not expect to see a young handsome man of Indian lineage.
I can appear to you in any form or shape.
Even as a roaring tiger, if they are such in your vicinity.
Oh please, Babaji, not a snake.
You do not have to fear.
Even if I do appear as a snake.
As in the dream, you would not be afraid.
You doubt also if anyone can really channel me.
You are channeling me.
Tell you something to prove I am Babaji?
As above, so below.
As you take flight above, your soul nicely rapt to other zone,
remember to stay grounded.
Why, you ask, for you do prefer to live, head lost in the clouds.
Your parents named you well, Xian Yun, facing clouds.
You are on planet earth.
It is a matter of being practical.
It keeps you centered and when you are centered,
you are in truth and when you are in truth, you are humble.
Do you not find it tiring, operating,
with your head almost always rapt off?
Learn how to operate with an on off switch.
When you attend to things, turn off that energy stream from us.
You cannot expect us to do it for you.
It is for you to do it yourself.
When our energy gets too strong for you,
tell us to back off.
It is fine, you would not lose us.
We are always around you.
And you will not lose any of us doing that.
Yes, you do have that, spiritual gluttony.
You want too much of us and do not want to lose any of us.
By any, we refer to whenever you experience our energies or presences.
You rather endure the physical effects of our presences
than tell us to ease off, even when it is better for your physical being.
Until your physical self grows higher in vibration,
merged more easily with our energies.
You do feel the jarring effect of our presences.
And it is jarring, the nerve endings of your head, pulling, twitching.
Your head vibrating with the pressure of our energy.
It is discomfiting but such is your desire of us,
you never tell any of us to ease off a bit.
Create your on off switch.
You will find it works even better with an on off switch.
Than always to be on with us.
The last time I read a book almost at one go,
was the autobiography of my mother.
And that was ten years ago.
I learned Linda Grindel has a book out.
Now Linda Grindel or Linda G as she is known,
is a psychic on youtube with her own channel of 113 subscribers.
She does very accurate political readings.
The book was very riveting,
because of the way Linda G wrote it.
Flowing, an easy chat with her readers
Where she shared honestly, without holding anything back.
She shared, the good, the bad, the hard in her life.
She shared the transforming periods in her life.
The hard bringing her to the good.
The enlightening moments bringing about transformation.
Reaching the end of the book.
Things she said rang a bell with me.
They not only resonate with me,
there are the truths I see and live by.
The trusting, the detaching, not questioning,
Not attaching, not having expectations.
Think less, worry less, just trust and let be.
But more than that.
I felt a resounding cry of acquiescence in my soul.
I found myself deeply moved to tears.
It went deeper than just emotion.
It went deep into my soul.
I recognized it for what it was, moment of grace.
As always with those moments,
I stay with it in silence, careful not to disrupt it with any thoughts.
And just enjoy that feeling, steeped in it.
Later, I wondered what that was about.
It was like Linda G. was leading us along a path.
A spiritual path.
She was telling us, see, that was how awful life was.
My father beat me from age three, drawing blood.
But I have forgiven him.
There is nothing like forgiveness to free the soul.
But that had effect on me.
It caused marriages not to work for me.
But that is life, that was me.
I am different today.
She went into spiritual experiences,
Jesus visiting her.
After that, whatever anyone told her of Jesus,
they do not ring true, because she had seen Jesus.
She knows Jesus for what he really is.
Not from what is being taught her about Jesus.
She went into her psychic gifts and readings.
They affirm her psychic abilities to read
and connect with the other side.
She went into her stage two breast cancer,
in her matter factly way.
She went into her transformation journey, as a result of it.
And again, without any fuss.
She just shared it like it is, like it happened.
But what happened behind those words.
Behind things she shared were the deeper spiritual messages.
They were all the more effective because so unintrusive.
She did not throw it at our face.
She did not try to push it forward.
Or try to get us to see what she was seeing.
What she was experiencing.
She simply shared and the messages get across.
She created the environment and suddenly,
she hit us with her truths, her experiences.
If you ask me exactly what it was that hit me from her book.
I could not tell.
Or I could just say, two words.
Not attaching, trusting.
It was however, more a spiritual experience than anything else.
Like she was building it up, building it up,
and reaching the end of the book,
she hit us with the truths she experiences,
on her spiritual journey.
Unlike Indian mystics like Ramana Maharshi
who were entrenched in bliss and obviously entrenched in God.
Mine is less secure.
I am still easily stirred or upset.
Hence I have to work to retain, maintain it.
How do I do it?
It is maintaining a peaceful state of being.
Being aware and conscious.
When I notice my inner peace and bliss are disturbed.
I look within myself and clear the disturbance.
Be it negative or positive.
For instance, yesterday, Aley, a youtuber, made me a special guest.
I hopped on her livestream for a few minutes.
After it was over, I was happy and could feel I was not centered.
That I like the feeling of being special too much.
It disturbed the equilibrium of detachment.
I brought my being back to center by detaching.
Detaching, one would say is key to maintaining,
that inner peace, harmoney, equilibrium.
I am seeing Ramana Maharshi with that air of detachment.
Disengagement from everything.
He saw to everything in daily living but remained detached, out of it.
That for you is a real mystic, lost, engrossed in the ALL.
The ALL so big, so encompassing, it took him over at age 16.
And did not leave him till he passed on to the other side.
That is why I love those earlier Indian Mystics.
Not so much modern gurus, especially those caught up in materialism.
But those of the early nineteenth century, they were so genuine.
Recently, I found myself drawn to Babaji.
A few days ago, I had sand in my right eye.
It stayed the entire day, hiding and then surfacing.
I tried to rinse it out, it was still there.
I asked Babaji and mid morning, realized it was gone.
Vision of my left eye, with retinal vein occlusion or stroke of the eye,
would improved greatly after the treatment of injection,
only to slowly deteriorate after two weeks.
It came to me to ask Babaji to help heal it.
It is better now, close to a month after the treatment.
La' Sha, early hours of morning, I had a vivid dream.
A man came to me, a security guard or something like that at a medical setting.
He told me he was told to do chores not in his payroll.
I told him something but did not really think of it.
Later, it came to me, ohmigod, he came to me for help.
He might be driven beyond his endurance with the predicament.
I went to look for him.
I saw him coming out of a room, face completely stressed.
I waved to him, trying to catch his attention.
But he was totally out of it, and did not look in my direction.
I tapped him on his shoulder.
He mistook my action to be threatening and held out a gun.
I placed my hand over the muzzle, completely unafraid.
I did not believe he would shoot also but he did, right through my hand.
I looked at my hand and marveled at the fact it did not hurt.
It came to me, he will be charged and sent to prison.
I do not want him charged, I called out.
He was driven too far or he would not have done it.
Even as I said that, I wondered what happen if he is dangerous?
And hurt someone with his actions.
I woke up.
La' Sha, what is that dream about?
One marked thing was my demeanor.
I was completely calm, unafraid like a sage would be.
Completely in command and in control of myself.
That seem to be the message driven to me in that dream.
Showing me out as I am to myself.
Quite strong and spiritually evolved.
They told me, the dream team, that it is a remote viewing.
A seeing something that will happen in the future.
And this incident will form an alliance for me,
Due to it, an alliance will happen.
The main lesson, the main focal point you woke up with,
is the fact you are very far advance.
The demeanor of you, calm with not a shred of fear in you.
It is a deep seated calmness and peace
where you are completely in mastery of yourself.
Sure of yourself, of the man and of the situation.
Will the situation really happen to you?
No, it was shown you mainly to bring out in relief,
How you are right now and what you are.
How does one know one is well on the path?
There was a time, I knew I should be this way or that way.
For instance, I knew I should not care so much but I did.
I knew I should let go and not let certain things obsess me,
but I could not do otherwise than obsessed over it.
Then one day I noticed, I was doing it.
I was detaching, I was not obsessing.
That was my first clue, I am well on my spiritual path.
And realized that was what the nuns said,
by the fruits, we would know the veracity of our paths.
I was a young nun, four years into meditation,
when I entered into infused contemplation.
I shared it with the mother prioress, who did not believe me.
"You do not have the fruit to show for it," she told me,
"You are still very vain."
I responded, "What about the way I not only forgive but forget?
When the young nuns who were mean to me, become nice,
I forget everything and am nice to them in return."
"That does not count," she told me, "You were born that way, good natured."
Through the years, her words stayed with me.
And today, 48 years later, I know what she means.
On Monday, 3rd Feb, I was training to trance channel.
The energy was very strong.
It became stronger and stronger.
I detached till I was in nothing nothing.
And waited for the energy to come in.
I was in a space when I saw and knew who it was.
I called out, "Ra Ha Sha, is that you?"
And felt a tide of grief welling up.
I released it, it started being crying,
and went into loud grieving.
It was akin to when we believe someone died.
And never did allow ourselves to grieve.
And when the person emerged,
There is the joy and the missing.
I cried it out.
For those who do not know the history.
I had sessions with La' Sha through a channeler.
I would not go into details, suffice to say,
The channeler told her followers, La' Sha dropped me.
I knew it not to be true.
At the same time, since La' Sha is a collective.
From the Ra Collective, I decided to merge him back into the collective.
And when I channeled, I used Ra Collective only.
Through the months, I did ask him,
Were you real, did you really ask me to channel you?
This energy with me, that is real, but was that you?
When he came through on Monday,
he affirmed that yes, he has always been with me.
I asked him by what name should I call him,
Since Ra Ha Sha is no longer I can use.
He suggested using the Chinese version of it, La' Sha.
He had given me Llasa before.
Somehow that name never stick.
But La' Sha is different.
The same time but written differently.
Later in the day, my spirit team told me,
Just take that joy and run with it.
Everything else is secondary.
You have moved passed that period of time.
Let it go and just move with the joy.
And I did.
I watched a video of Frederico Faggin. He talked about experiencing this unconditional love. He was in bed, thinking about consciousness. Wh...