Innate yearnings

There is in all of us, an innate yearning for God.

Most of the time, we do not feel it.

As Garrigou Langrange said, in this life,

often we do not experience that need for God.

As a result we can go years content with what and how our life is.

But sooner or later, comes that knocking at our door.

We started questioning, asking if there is not more to this life than there is.

That is the beginning of awakenings.

What brings about awakenings?

Your own soul.

You are spirit and body.

When the needs of your body are met, you are happy.

But material things cannot satisfy the deeper needs of your soul.

As a result, you started longing, yearning, and hunger for something more.

Like a stone pulled towards the center,

You find yourself pulled toward your Infinite Creator.

Your physical self might have forgotten the fact you come from him.

Your spirit self does not.

As St. Augustine said, our hearts are restless, O Lord, until they rest in you.

Those inner pulls of your soul can be a beautiful aspiration for the divine.

Or it can be a strong pull, where you are one with the source around you.

Oblivious to everything else and in that moment,

you come face to face with your maker and know your maker.

It could be that light shining in your darkness.

Whatever however it happens.

When the Divine comes knocking at your door.

Hear it, listen to it and follow it.

It will lead you to your soul's desire, to God, the Infinite Creator.

Elusive truth of life

I know this truth.

Why do I call it elusive?

Because it is something I know factually.

And something I am working to make a reality.

It is an age-old truth, taught by mystics of all ages.

Jesus said, do not amass wealth on earth,

where thieves can steal and moth destroy.

Buddhism talks about the impermanence of things.

Everything being an illusion.

How do I make that my reality?

By a subtle almost imperceptible mode of being.

Looking at the entire thing from a perch above.

The perch being my higher self.

It is taking an objective view of life as it is.

The reality of life as it is from my spirit self.

Where you close the eyes of your physical self,

close the eyes of your mental self

and look at it with the eyes of your spirit self.

Today I am here.

Tomorrow, like an incident of late, I could be gone.

I had gone for eye injection.

It handicapped my perception.

I found myself driving on the wrong side of the road,

with streams of cars coming towards me.

Something took me over.

Like a slow motion movie where time slowed down.

My mind, in an almost out of body state, registered the error.

And I moved into the safe yellow lane.

And that is a reality of life.

Mere seconds and I could have lost my life to a headlong collision.

Life could be as long as living to a hundred.

Or short.

The mystics know that through experiencing the world of spirit.

TThey asked us, why be so engaged with the material world.

When it is but an illusion.

And we are spirits engaged in human existence.

That in the twinkling of an eye, we would be on the other side.

So why live this world as though it is all there is to life.

I am beginning to see it.

To make it my reality.

I am not there yet but almost almost there,

Beauty of living in Truth, transparency

What, you may ask, is the beauty of living in truth and transparency.

There is everything to that, genuineness for one, beauty in itself.

I first embarked on this path as a nun.

We were told to choose one word from the Bible.

I took a mental look into the Bible and saw Truth.

I made that my leitmotif in life and chose to follow truth wherever it leads me.



My focus however was initially on truths about myself,

I pursued that ruthlessly, relentlessly, leaving no stones unturned.

When my entire being shrinks from looking at something.

It is then I force myself to look at whatever is lurking in the shadows.



One day the benefit of it came to me.

Self knowledge actually makes me more powerful.

It gives me an edge, a very powerful edge,

That of knowing exactly who and what I am.



What lurks unknown to us in the shadows is akin to having thieves in the house.

They are a threat to me more than anything, anyone outside.

Once known and exposed, my dark shadows lose their lethalness to harm me.

When I do not have to hide from myself, I do not have to hide from the world.

And the world has no leverage over me.

Tell me something about me, and I would tell you I already know it.

If I do not already know it, then I would look at it, accept or dismiss it.

It makes for a warrior, a fearless spiritual warrior.

Walk in all truth before God and one need fear no evil or devils for that matter.



The path of truth opens me to other spiritual beliefs also.

The wu wei, non action of Taoism.

After applying so much effort to attaining to union with God, to sainthood,

The easing of my spiritual strivings was an immense relief.

The peace and loving compassion of Buddhism.

The mysticism of early Indian Mystics.

The path of the Law of One, shared by humble messenger Ra.

Gleaning what I could of metaphysics, quantum physics.

They all comprise the world of the Universe.

God of the Universe as I called God on experiencing his energy in everything around me.

And that is my life and my path.

The power of walking in all truth and transparency before God.

Experiencing Samadhi

My higher self, help me go into this.

Yesterday at meditation, I felt drawn into a deep deep state.

This morning at meditation, I experienced it again.

I could feel myself being pulled in deeper, deeper, deeper.

A movement pulling me in deeper. 

Then another movement pulled me in deeper.

As I entered deeper and deeper into a trance state.

Into an awareness of beingness,

My ego self dissolving.

I thought it was the energy of an entity entering into me.

And asked it to reveal itself.

But it was just a state of being.

Then I heard myself saying, this is source energy.

It is your God source energy.

You are experiencing your God Source energy.

This is Samadhi

You are experiencing your real self.

And I realized I am experiencing my real Divine Godself.

In this state of being, I am lost in this energy or consciousness.

The consciousness is.

Slowly and slowly I merged into that consciousness.

Till that consciousness is.

And my physical self dissolves into this consciousness and becomes a non being.

All that remains is this isness, the consciousness.

I realize this is a state of being that will increasingly become mine.

I have to learn how to live my life, operating with it.

Because once I enter into it, I do not want to leave it.

I stayed two hours in it last night.

I wanted to relish it while I have it.

Today, I realize I will increasingly experience it.

And there is no need to grasp it while I have it.

Because it is a state of being.

Thank you, God.

This is so beautiful.

Experiencing this state of being.

I did not know with Samadhi,

One feels taken over by an energy.

Increasingly being taken over by this energy.

As one enters deeper and deeper into non being.

Being with this Consciousness that is Divine,

Otherworldly.

That it is not of this world is obvious enough.

I just want to stay with it for hours on end. 

And do not want to do anything else.

Take care of my flock

Late afternoon, I went for meditation.

No sooner did I get into it than a strong energy took over me.

I stayed with it, seeking neither to see nor experience anything.

Surrendering, staying in a detached state of being.

It was very gripping.

I kept feeling something was going to happen.

The energy would increase some and then lessen.

Increase and lessen.

All the while I felt gripped by this energy and force.

Two hours into it, I felt I had to come out of it.

I allowed myself to see.

I saw the ambient clearing.

I saw a bed of white clouds and Jesus in the middle of it.

Then I saw Jesus, closer to me, in the garments of a shepherd.

Standing to the left of me.

I heard him say, "Take care of my flock."

Me? I fought against being a teacher in any way.

And here he is asking me to take care of his flock?

He assured me he is with me and will be with me till the end of days.

I only need to give my consent.

I told him, on one condition. that he gives me humility together with it.

I do not want to lose my soul.

Pride enters in and I will lose my soul.

He told me he has been with me since I was a child.

I saw evenings where I knelt at a table and prayed to him.

At one point, I heard, "Mystical teachings of Jesus."

He told me, "you often recite the words, you in me, I in you and we in the father. 

Where do you think the words come from? From me."

I have always loved those words of St John the apostle.

I came out of the meditation and gave thanks to him.

I will let Jesus lead the way and guide me.

The Law of One, and Edgar Cayce

From the channeled sessions of the book, the Law of One.

We learned about the seven densities we all have to go through.

There is no skipping of densities.

Hence at one time, we could have been the first density inanimate stone in the stream.

With cool water sloshing over it.

Or we could be the tall mangrove trees, standing tall, and majestic in the tropical waters.

Or we might have been a second density animal, for instance a dog though I rather be a bird,

Flying free and unrestrained.



Now we are third density humans, moving toward the fourth density of love and understanding.

There is the fifth density of wisdom and light, the sixth density of wisdom and compassion.

Followed by the seventh density of unity and wholeness, where we are ready to merge back with the Infinite Creator

and the eighth density where we merged back into the Infinite Creator.

The Infinite Creator does not create new souls.

We all came into being at one time.



Today, I was listening to a video on the readings of Edgar Cayce.

And found him saying something along the same lines.

God did not create us one by one.

We were all created at the same time, 

To be companions and Co Creators with him.

He endowed each of us with specific roles and purposes.

Giving us the free will and properties to bring them about.

From there, souls felt impelled to experience life as rocks or water,

Or as trees or animals, bringing those experiences back to God.

Inevitably, we ended up merged back into God.



It blew my mind listening to it.

He was affirming what The book Law of One said.

From the eighth density, we moved into the first density.

I used to wonder how that happen.

Why from the eighth density into the first and not the other way around.

According to Edgar Cayce, it would mean,

We started out from the Infinite Creator, hence eighth density,

choosing to experience existence at the first density and so forth.



I could be very wrong with my surmising.

All this is very intriguing and very hard to grasp.

You are gods

Psalm 82:6. I said, you are gods and you are all sons of the most high.

When I first learned about being gods, it was very hard for me to accept it, 

coming from my Catholic background.

For me, creation was God creating us as in Adam and Eve.

Outside of himself.

Creating us like a sculptor, his masterpieces.

To say we are gods sounded blasphemous.

In olden days, I would be stoned to death.

Or like Jesus, crucified on the Cross.

How dare you, being man, called yourself the son of God.

That was until I saw a wonderful allegory, 

triggered by a video I watched of Paramahansa Yogananda.

We are like drops of water in the ocean.

Remove a drop of water, what is its nature and properties.

Same as the ocean it was taken from.

Hence it is the same for us.

We are created in the image of God.

He did not create us outside of himself.

He created us by expansion of his being.

Hence in all of us, humans, animals, plants, animate and inanimate beings,

That Divine Spark of God is present.

In the world of Universe, universes, God is.

Our myopia becomes not seeing this nature in us.

We find ourselves living for things real and visible to our physical senses.

Not seeing the spiritual until we awaken.

And we are getting awakened, in masses.

For the dawn of the New Earth.

The Law of One, creation.

How many times have I read and listen to the Law of One on creation,

And still I do not get it.

I have a hard time grasping scientific and mathematical matters.

Let me try it here.

Asking my spirit team for help.

First, there was the one cell, infinity.

It was alone and splendid. 

It always was, is and always will be.

It was always in existence.

This single wondrous unit became aware.

With awareness, it wants to experience itself,

In a multi faceted, diverse multiple ways.

And so it started to create by expansion.

It moves into logos, sub logos, sub sub logos.

And so it goes on, with universes, universes being created and brought into being.

Logo is love.

Hence it is Love creating.

Pro creating, co creating.

As a result, we humans are created from the same Infinite Creator.

In an almost evolutionary manner.

From the logo to the sub logo to the sub sub logos and so forth.

This makes us co creators also.

We are told, we create our own realities.

A far out far fetch thought.

Since that is the case,

I will create my own reality.

I want to be a healer.

A healer like the Indian mystic, Sri Ramana Maharshi.

Not from anything.

But my silent being, as I sit in meditation.

Willing the infinite power of the Infinite Creator to cure and heal.

And if that is not the will or path of the one I am praying for.

Then to pray for grace and enlightenment to endure.

Dr. Robert Gilbert's words

Through the years, I had received life changing words.

The first came from a Jesuit priest who told me, "God wants you to be happy."

Those words stayed with me for a long time.

To a primary care doctor who told me,

"You do not have to do anything you do not want to do."

Those words, so simple, left a profound impact on me.

And set off my transformation of learning how to say no.

And recently, the words of Dr. Robert Gilbert,

where he talked about spiritual teachers becoming corrupted.

Initially their messages were good, fifteen years later and their messages were different.

Once these spiritual teachers became corrupted, the beings working with them left them.

And other entities entered in.

Not his exact words but something of that nature.

This exchange is in his first interview with the podcaster, Andre Duqum,

around two hours into the interview.


When I started channeling, I was told by several psychics I would become big one day.

That I was a diamond in the rough.

I was no stranger also to those who reveled in my high vibration and wanted a part of that.

That was new to me. 

My spirit team wasted no time warning me off those piranhas of energies.



Overtime, I started seeing channelers on big platforms, wowing crowds.

The path of fame, and fortune.

And bought into that illusion.

Once I woke up from that illusion.

It was easy to slide back into my original self.

For I come from humble beginnings and humble background.

I look at myself today and often catch myself thinking, 

I am actually a very simple ordinary person.

I am that.


So how did I ever buy into those illusions of grandeur.

It was easy, caught up by that hype of being a channeler.

And it is this "indoctrination" I have been working on.

Freeing me from those illusions, from that path.


I have these words or warnings of Dr. Robert Gilbert to help me, on the dangers of spiritual ego inflation.

Reminding me to stay grounded and humble.


His passing filled me with a sense of regret and loss.

His teachings on Sacred Geometry made sense to me.

Until then Sacred Geometry were just pictures of lines, cubes, squares and triangles.

More on channeling

Your soul knows things.

Are aware of things.

You just know.

Just as you know right now,

You are training yourself to stay grounded and detached.

You grew aware of the dangers of channeling.

Once you were removed from your earlier base.



We warned you early in the days you were training to channel.

That with third density beings, often once they start channeling,

they go out and do foolish things.

We did not want that to happen with you and exhorted you to stay grounded.

You did not understand why, when you rather live more on the other side than on this side,

With your crown chakra wide open.

You saw little value working with your root chakra and stay more grounded.


Looking into your soul today,

you saw the importance of staying grounded.

Just as you look to genuine Indian mystics for guidance,

so also you look at well seasoned channelers.

What do they have in common?

You wondered, with saints and angels, you use humility to gauge them.

Yes, you could apply humility with them but there is something else.

Your mind opened and you saw what it is, being grounded.

That importance of being grounded.

These channelers are well grounded individuals.

It accounts for the fact they channeled their sources for years.

You saw, more than humility, being grounded is key.



Grounded, you stay in reality, in your center.

When you are in reality, in your center, you are humble.

Grounded in reality is being grounded in truth.

Hence the reminder, be grounded, centered and humble.

With those three assets comes truth.



You look at yourself and wonder if you have arrived.

You are almost there.

A little bit more and you are there.

And you know it.

Channeling: #4. Semi Trance Channeling

The force in my head, which gave rise to unease over the years.

Turned out to be a blessing once I moved into channeling.

The force or energies in my head is how I sense presences of spirits. 

The collective I am channeling is a nice euphoric force around my third eye chakra pushing upwards.

Jesus' energy is very strong, around my third eye chakra, concentrated there.

Archangel Metatron's energies feels akin to wearing a heavy helmet, pressing down on the top half portion of my head.

As I moved deeper into channeling.

I found myself entering deeper into state of trance.

The energy of the collective, until then gentle, would become very intense.

When it become a tight hard knot at my third eye chakra,

I know they are coming in and taking over.

With semi trance channeling, I surrender the wheel.

I become like a passenger in the car with them steering the wheel.

With conscious channeling, I help the steering along.

It is very rewarding in that, I learn from those channeling.

Take my recent channeled session.

I found myself today, engaging in joy and seeking to do the things that gives me joy.

I went to the dog park and knew I was shining, the joy obvious on my face and demeanor.

I am an open book, shining and bright.

I do not channel intricate topics.

I channel mostly spiritual messages.

My goal is still, engaging in complete trance channeling.

Often what I engage in, is more than semi channeling.

For now, I am happy with that.

Channeling: #3. Conscious Channeling

To say channeling is easy would be a fallacy.

It was never easy for me and is still not easy for me.


I started with what is termed conscious channeling.

With conscious channeling, I get into a meditative state.

Clearing all thoughts from my mind.

I called on the Collective to come in, take me over and speak through me.


There are channelers who prefer not to go that route.

Sterling psychic medium would tell you it is not necessary.

But for me, what I want to engage in is trance channeling.


Once I am in that receptive mode.

I would empty my mind and wait for words to come in.

Sometimes, it would be two words, or a sentence.

I grab those words, and other words would flow in.

I start voicing them as though taking dictation.

Sometimes, I would see images.

What I now learned to be downloads as I channel.



With conscious channeling, it is easy to believe I was the one doing it.

As a result, I would ask the collective, "am I really channeling you?"

They would answer in the affirmative or ask me why I was still questioning it.

However, I do have a good clue as to whether I am channeling.


English is my second language.

Whenever I do videos on my own, it takes me forever to edit them.

Often, I could not get even simple sentences right and have to repeat and repeat until I get them right.

This entails a lot of editing.

When I am channeling, I do not have to edit at all.

I simply remove the spaces in between.

The words come out smoothly.

Often, I would watch it back and marvel at what I was channeling.



Over time, I moved into semi trance channeling.

Which is what I engage in most of the time today.

Channeling: #2. Training to channel

Once I decided on channeling, I went into it full force.

I did not sign up for any training courses.

As a matter of fact, the thought never occurred to me.

For me the matter was rather simple.

I will till the soil, get the ground ready through meditation.

And when I am ready, the Collective will speak through me.

I applied myself to it.

For the next year and half, I engaged in three hours of meditation daily.

First hour at four in the morning, second hour at eleven followed by four in the afternoon.

I stayed with that routine, day after day.

At every monthly channeled session, I would ask the Collective why it was not happening.

First, I had to clear the blocks, the self doubts, my self sabotaging ways.

The blocks removed, I was still not channeling.

After six months, the Collective told me nothing was stopping me from channeling.

I was the one stemming the flow of channeling.

And that channeling is not this big thing I imagine it to be.

It is actually something rather simple and commonplace.

Try as I did, I could not get rid of the notion,

Once the ground was right, the collective would speak through me, 

the way it did for Suzanne Giesemann.

She gathered with her friends in a circle, when a voice told her, "speak."

And a man's voice spoke through her.

I kept waiting for that voice and it never happened.

After one and half years, one day at meditation,

I found myself speaking in my own Chinese Foochow dialect.

That was a first, the Collective affirmed I was channeling them.

Second time, I started with a normal voice when my voice became very deep.

The Collective told me that I started off with channeling them

when Emmanuel, an aspect of Jesus took over.

As I write this, it came to me again, it might have been easier had I signed up for a course.

But as with most things in my spiritual life.

I go at it and spirit teaches me as I move along.

What helped me with channeling was the fact,

A year before I embarked on channeling, I had entered into trance meditation.

The latter helps me immensely with my channeling.

Channeling: #1. The beginnings

It was the year twenty twenty.

It came to me, I could look for psychics on youtube.

Due to infused contemplation,  I had found myself with some psychic gifts.

As a result, the world of psychics intrigued me.

Forays into the world of psychics brought me into contact 

with the world of extra terrestrials.

While I kept an open mind to different forms of spiritual beliefs.

Extra terrestrial was too much for me.

I decided not to have anything to do with it.

However, I elected to attend one live channeled session of a collective of extra terrestrials.

I attended, eyes cold and hostile, body taut with resistance.

"Tell me something, anything," I challenged the entity,

"Or I am out of here and you will never see me again."

I asked a question no one was able to answer for me.

"What is this Force in my head?"

Ever since I had that experience of God.

That Force had not left my head.

I knew it was not due to physical causes because it was a live Force.

However, through the years, I did seek medical attention,

To rule out physical causes.

CT scans showed no abnormality.

The entity channeled told me I was going through an amazing awakening.

That I had awakened spiritually in other life times.

He paused and remarked, it was rather unusual, and something usually reserved for ascended masters.

He told me the force in my head is the ascended masters trying to push me one level higher.

And they have full confidence I would do it.

He suggested I tell them to back off when the feeling gets too intense.

His words left me awe struck and I was in, hook, line and sinker.

I wanted to experience more with this entity.

And started having monthly channeled sessions with this entity or collective.

A few sessions later, they suggested I channeled them.

And that was how I came to be channeling.

Moving gradually into channeling Emmanuel, an aspect of Jesus, and archangels.

The most exciting part had been channeling Source.

The few times it took place, I found it exciting.

Because it took me over very strongly and spoke with power and strength in a manner alien to me.

Leaving me with no doubt it was Source speaking through me.

Vision of Joy

Joy is my shield and armor.

That line came to me as I was meditating.

How would that be?

Joy is high vibration.

High vibration protects.

For one thing, it helps us move away from sicknesses.

Why do we get sick?

Our body falls prey to stress, anxieties, worries and fears.

These accumulate and wreak havoc on our bodies.

Just look at reactions to our bodies.

And you know the veracity of those words.

When you get angry, how does your body react?

Your heart pounds painfully.

Your head explodes, making you feel it is going to burst.

Your entire body goes under attack.

All that is stress on your body.

Which is why meditation is so beneficial.

It brings calm, and peace to your body.

With meditation, you go within yourself.

And experience the truth nothing and no one can teach you.

The truth of your inner being.

Where you awaken your divine self.

Within that Divine Self is peace, joy.

Everything that is true, good and holy.

Even if some forces strive to hurt you, damage you.

They are able to hurt only your visible body.

Your inner spirit, your inner being stays Divine and pure.

It is why saints, sages are able to maintain their inner joy.

Whatever the vicissitudes of life.

They have discovered their real self, their Divine Self.

Lost years of Jesus

Jesus, one day I was watching a movie of you.

As I watched it, it came to me how incongruous your teachings were.

Set in that background.

A few years later, I found myself drawn to Indian mystics.

And came across the Lost years of Jesus.

You were in India, Persia, Tibet and other places.

It all made sense to me then, your teachings.

They resonate with the wisdom and enlightenment of the Eastern Masters of spirituality.

Yesterday, I watched a video on Edgar Cayce.

He affirmed that you were in that part of the world.

That affirmation meant a lot to me.

Jesus, what do you say to those who find it hard accepting that fact?

Does it not say more for me?

That I journeyed to the Far East, seeking spirituality.

Than living in some sort of seclusion,

Helping my earthly father with the work of carpentry?

No, the desire for knowledge burned deep in my soul.

It drove me to take the trade routes, seeking to broaden and advance my spiritual knowledge.

Though much of it was inherent.

Coming into contact with other spiritual disciplines enriched my life and broadened my soul.

For, was it not said, I came down on earth as a man.

I was not born a God, possessed of automatic all knowing, all knowledge of God.

I grew, learned and came into wisdom and knowledge.

Nature of being

What is predicting?

It is following the nature of being.

Engage in a certain pattern of behavior.

And the outcome is obvious.

Hence it does not take much to predict outcome.

However, there are those possessed of preternatural gifts.

Who are able to see into the future.

Those like Nostrademus, Baba Vanga and Edgar Cayce.

We will touch on those another time.

Hence watch the actions of those you need to watch.

And know actions yield its fitting fruit.

Through its cause and effect or Karmac reactions.

Hence fear not those who would do you harm.

They would only do harm to themselves.

Keep yourself pure, holy and in all integrity before God.

And you need fear nothing.

For he will take care of you.

Are you not all his chosen ones?

He will take care of you like a shepherd his sheep.

Consciousness

  Spirit team, what is consciousness.

You call consciousness by a name you are familiar with, God.

We told you we do not use the name God.

However, it is a name of great meaning to you.

What is consciousness but the Supreme Being.

It is in you and in everything around you.

You are brought up in a faith where you believe,

Humans are the only ones God is interested in. 

That human race is the only thinking aware race that exists in this immense universe.

That you have only one life, and this earthly existence is the one life.

After which you move on to Heaven, Hell or purgatory.

We are not denying this belief but inviting you to broaden your perspective.

Open your mind and look around you.

Do you not feel consciousness in the air?

You experienced it one day, walking at the park.

You found yourself asking, is the space around me empty?

Much to your surprise, you came back with the answer, no.

The space around you vibrates with energy.

It is not empty. Nothing is empty in space.

Is energy consciousness?

Yes, it is that too.

You are energy, Everything around you is energy.

Nikola Tesla said it right when he said,

When you think of the Universe, think in terms of energy, frequencies and vibration.

You are consciousness.

Yes, you, not your body self.

Your body self is but a vehicle you take on for this existence on planet earth.

Your body self is in this consciousness.

Hence you are able to expand your consciousness like a power ball.

You are able to expand it, big and wide as the room you sit in.

Or condense it to an intense energy field around you.

When you seek protection, will your consciousness, your energy to expand. 

And it will expand, keeping you safe.

Or will it to condense into a tight ball around you.

It will deflect all negative energies and keep you safe.

That is what you are afraid of.

You come from a planet of light, of peace.

And shrink from any form of warfare.

You do not have to engage in any warfare.

There are enough of them on your planet earth, big or small.

But simply deflect them,

With the power of your inner strength and energy.

Spirit team

You have pledged to channel us.

We told you we will be with you now until death and over to the other side.

We will be with you.

Doubt no further but believe.

Why are you doubting us?

Why are you trying to carve out a new path for you?

Walking by a different timeline?

We told you, you have three timelines.

Whichever path you take, will lead you to the same goal.

So move by the spirit.

By the flow, therein you know you are following your path?

What is your path?

You came down as a wanderer, to help with the earth procession to fourth density.

Through channeling of spiritual messages.

Messages that touch, enlighten and uplift.

Share what burns in your heart.

That is what you come down to earth for.

The Collective

I woke up at one in the morning, 

for the third night in a row and cannot sleep again.

Universe, do you have a message for me?

Channel us, but do not try putting names on us.

Just channel this energy you are experiencing.

We are the God force.

You feel us in you, in everything around you.

When you have that awareness we are in everything,

Then is it easier to operate from that Oneness.

When you give, what does that bring you? Joy.

When you bring a little happiness to someone, however inconsequential,

What do you experience? Joy.

Do the things that bring you joy.

You want to know how to elevate your vibration.

It is in doing things that brings you joy and passion.

Why do we need to wake you up at one in the morning to convey this message?

Because it is then you are able to hear us.

Of late, self doubts assailed you again.

Closing the doors to us. 

We are real, we are only too real.

Just believe.

What do you have to lose by believing?

You have everything to gain from believing.

You are trying to channel a different energy, a different source.

Because it feels safer to you.

Are we not safe?

We vouched to protect you.

Have we not been protecting you?

Do not deny us?

Do not deny us entry.

Let us in.

And we will do much good to you.

And through you, to others.

Temptation, platter of pie

This just came to me.

I am not free of temptations.

And then I saw it, a piece of pie.

It is in the hand of another.

And I want a piece of it.

It looks so good, so tempting.

And I wanted a piece of it.

Were it mine, I could savor it.

Enjoy every bit of it, every last piece of it.

But it is not mine.

Most of my life,

I am happy with what is on my platter.

I seldom look at what others have.

There was a girl in my class who I held to be so beautiful.

Yet I never covet her looks.

My simplicity of nature implies,

I am happy with what I have.

What happens when we look at the platter of another and covet it?

We fail to see what is on our platter and appreciate it.

Yet of late I found myself coveting?

What am I coveting?

The ability to see angels, saints, ETs and spirit guides.

Ah, here comes an apt question for myself.

Why do I want those abilities?

"It makes for greatness."

It always makes me feel so much less, not seeing spirits.

Therein is that ego trap.

The ego that corrupts.

What do I have on my platter?

The ability to feel energies of angels, saints and spirits around me.

I see them with inner feelers, not with inner sight.

A seeing without seeing.

Yet therein lies my treasure.

The treasure on my platter.

The ability to sense energies of spirits.

On visions.

Mystics, Christians, Buddhists and Hindus alike hold one thing in common.

Put no stock on visions. 

Visions distract and feed the ego.

Seek that purity of spirit.

The mystical experiences that go beyond earthly language and beholdings.

And go deeper and deeper into that.

Into the world of Spirit, for God is spirit.

When he speaks, he speaks to the spirit.

Not with words but with his essence into our soul.

Truth of existence

A truth lurked in my soul.

I recognize it. I know it.

And I need it to take root in my soul.

What is this truth?

That lurks on the fringe of my mind, my consciousness.

It is a truth so known and yet often does not hold sway.

By reason of our human conditioning.

Let me move into this with some reasoning with self.

The world as we know it is passing.

Today we are here, tomorrow we might not be.

So why do we live, so entrenched in this earthly existence?

We were spirits before we took on this human existence.

We are spirits as we live out this human existence.

Our spirit will move on when we leave this human existence.

We are spirits living a human existence.

So why do we live, so entrenched in our earthly existence?

The above floated in my mind.

Taunting me with the veracity of its truth.

And so I pray, help me, Jesus, to realize this truth.

What words do you have to tell me to help me with it?

As I sit here, in darkness, in the early hours of morning,

I came down on this earth to teach you the above.

Did I not tell you to be ready with lamps?

Because you do not know when the maker will come and take you?

Did I not tell you to live for today and let tomorrow take care of itself?

Did I not say, "what does it profit you if you gain the whole world and lose your soul."

Ah, that is the one line you should repeat often and that truth will seep into your soul.

Permeate your soul. "what does it profit you if you gain the whole world and lose your soul."

Thank you, Oh Jesus for that insight.

As I sit here, I see a vision of a man, who amassed countless wealth.

He stood there, gleeful and happy, "Now, I can enjoy my wealth,:

When a big truck came at him and he was gone.

"Amass for yourself not the treasure of this earth but treasure in heaven."

How do we attain that? Love of God and service to others.

3 am Edgar Cayce on healing energy transmission.

 Around three years ago, something would wake me up around three in the morning,

A few times, it was a dog's bark, just one bark.

One day I saw it, the dog was medium size, with thick light brown hair, and a large mouth.

I knew the veil is thin from three to five in the morning.

I started engaging in meditation.

One day, I found myself transported to a planet of white light.

My spirit team told me every day at four in the morning,

I am able to readily access this planet of white light.

And that my prayers during this time are very effective.

I made a practice of staying in meditation at that hour.

Imagine my pleasant surprise on learning what Edgar Cayce wrote on it.

That these souls who wake up consistently at three to five in the morning are here as messengers, channeling healing energy to the world.

It could be for family members, friends and even strangers who needed it.

During these hours, they are natural conduits of energy healing.

It affirms what my spirit team told me about the efficacy of my prayers, accessing the planet of white lights at four in the morning.

Added to that is the fact one does not have to consciously pray for anyone for the prayers to be transmitted to that person.

In one reading, a woman woke up daily at four in the morning and prayed.

Though unconscious of the fact, her prayers were transmitted to her son who was serving in world war two.

Two weeks after her reading with Cayce, she received news from her son that he narrowly escaped death from a bombing raid. The timing matched with her prayer hour of four in the morning.

This knowledge makes my meditation hour at four in the morning all the more valuable.

Something continues to wake me up daily at 3.30 am and I readily get transported to the planet of light.

On learning this from Cayce, I started sending prayers out to the Universe, family, friends and strangers alike.

Less is more

Now and again, a whiff from my past came to me.

In the form of temptation.

On my path as a channeler, psychics, and others told me.

You are a diamond in the rough, or you will be big one day.

New on my foray into the field of channeling and channelers.

I believed it, I embarked on it.

Full of bravado and faith in my spirit team,

I ventured in full swing ahead.

When Universe cut my path short.

And removed me from that field altogether.

I look at where my feet are and embrace it.

Less is more.

Why would I choose this path of spiritual poverty?

When the very word of poverty could make anyone shrink.

But, this is a poverty where one gets enriched.

With the scent of God, with God.

For when we are so full, so filled with ourselves and pursuits.

Is there room for God?

Could he be felt, seen, communicated with,

when the noise of desires, striving fills our hearts?

St. John of the Cross holds, the more we empty ourselves,

the more God fills us.

And so I look at my path to God, to that Oneness.

And remove myself from the noise of my past endeavors.

When it rears its head, shining and glittering, 

I look at my path and say, no thank you.

I am happy with this less.

It is peaceful, satiety itself.

I relish this life of simplicity, of nothingness.

Concentrating on my path to the All.

What is the All for me?

It is a being that almost always holds me in its thrall.

I close my eyes and I am with him.

I enter into meditation and I am lost in him.

I look inside and I see him, the God in me.

He is my satiety. He is my All.

"In Him, I live, move and am."

Federico Faggin and Consciousness

 This is what I grasped, watching a video about

Federico Faggin's experience of consciousness.

He felt this light emanating from his chest.

He experienced that compelling unconditional love.

He felt himself in those particles of light emanating from him.

He was those glittering pulsating lights.

He was that consciousness.

He was that awareness.

He was the observer watching himself.

It was a life changing moment for him.

This consciousness was in him, around him.

He, the ego self is in this consciousness.

He is so right.

I often shared, "The universe is in you."

When I first experience it, I wondered,

How could I contain the universe?

This small body of mine, how could I contain it?

Yet that was how I experienced it when I wanted to go into the Universe mentally.

I could go outside of myself into space.

Or I could go within myself and experience that space, that Universe within.

One day, it came to me.

I was limiting it to the existence of my body self.

The body self is limiting but not my spirit self.

My spirit self is not contained within my body self.

My body self is contained within my spirit self.

And my spirit self is bigger, and part of that immense universe.

Hence when I experience it, I am able to go inward to experience it.

It is akin to dropping deep into this inner space in me.

And experience everything within that huge immense inner space.

Of  no limits, no depths, no boundaries.

Just a huge immensity of space.

A man who died and came back to life told me,

"You do not go outside of yourself to find God, you know.

You go within yourself."

I told him, "Yes, that is how I meditate."

He acted as though imparting immense knowledge to me,

Unaware I had experienced God within myself.

That experience opened the door to mysticism, 

to the Universe, and above all to God within.

No tomorrows?

This thought lingered in my mind.

What if there is no tomorrow?

The saints, sages know this truth.

Why do you fret so much, toil so much for this world's gain?

They asked, when you might not be here tomorrow?

They are in the truth, they experience the ultimate reality.

They know this life to be an illusion.

But for us, this life is only too real.

Often myopic, we see only this earthly reality.

Channeling

I never profess to be more than what I am.

In that, I am my mother's daughter.

My mother was as she was.

She never tried to be other than what she was.

When I first started channeling, it was conscious channeling.

I would entertain doubts about really channeling.

For one thing, I channel mostly spiritual things.

I would ask my spirit team why I was not channeling like those others.

Deep intricate things.

I also do not hear them readily the way channelers do.

I hear them when I hear them but not on command.

As I moved into semi trance channeling, I knew I was channeling.

Why? Because English is my second language.

It would take me hours to make a video on my own.

Often I could not get simple sentences right.

And have to repeat and repeat the sentences.

This entailed hours of editing.

When I am channeling.

The words flowed smoothly, easily.

And I did not have to spend time editing.

Often, I watched it back and marveled at how I was able to say this or that.

Writing this or that.

And know it to be channeled.

The kind of channeling I like best is when the energies are so strong.

The spirit took over and I could feel it.

Feel it talking with power and strength, in a manner I would not.

That is thrilling. It does not happen every time.

Recently, I asked one of my siblings about my channeling.

He happens to be more on the critical, skeptical side.

He had watched a few of my channeling videos.

He told me he is not into things like channeling.

However, what I channeled was often very wise and philosophical.

This affirmed to him the fact I am channeling.

He added there are so many mysteries in life.

I likely connect with one of those energies hovering around us.

His words left me with a deep sense of gratitude.

At this moment in time.

I like to listen to videos connected to mysticism.

And get wrapt off into other realms.

As I said often, I am more mystic than psychic or channeler for that matter.

I move into this field due to psychic gifts developed through contemplative prayer.

Hence my handle, contemplative mystic.

Healing

Yesterday, I experienced pain in my left shoulder.

I woke up in the middle of the night and found the pain traveled to my right side.

I found that unnerving, and wondered if it was signs of impending heart attack.

I started praying and asked Archangel Raphael to help heal me.

And concentrated on my breathing.

Visualizing divine white light entering me and healing me with each breath in.

As I lay there, I could hear an inner voice telling me.

Relax and I did relax.

Only then I realized I had been holding my back in tense form.

The voice continued, "look at what you are doing to your body,

with your stress, fears and anxieties."

I again let go and relax further.

I let spirit moved me into trance state,

All the while I continued praying and concentrating on my breathing.

I could feel the pain easing.

I got out of bed and it was almost all gone.

By morning, I experienced occasional twinges and then it healed.

I gave thanks to God, to my spirit team and to Archangel Raphael.

It was not the first time Archangel Raphael helped heal me.

Each time, I could feel when the healing happened, 

Though not hundred percent, it was fast healing and marked.

It is amazing what stress can do to a body.

With that realization, I moved away from the fears.

It came to me,  sharing this might be helpful for some.

Be still and know that I am God

 Legion of helpers, yesterday, I experienced this strong energy at the crown of my head.

I asked what energy this is as I lulled myself into a neutral state of mind.

And I saw, like in a photo, a large group of people gathered for the photo op.

I saw it, it did not really register until I realized what I was seeing.

And realized it is your message to me, that you are my Legion of helpers.

What message do you have for us today?

Be still and know that I am God.

When you say that to yourself, what do you see?

What do you believe?

Within those words are depths of knowledge.

Be still and know that I am God.

First off, trust, you see trust. 

When you trust, your heart is still.

Your mind is silent and at peace.

Your inner waters are calm.

Because you trust.

The Universe is telling you.

Be still. Do not fret.

Do not have fears in your heart.

Trust, trust.

When your mind runs amok with thoughts of fears.

When your mind creates scenarios of what could happen.

Stop the thoughts, still the thoughts, silence the mind.

You have witnessed in past experiences, how your fears, your thoughts do not bear fruition.

That your imaginings are often far worse than the actual events or happenings.

So still your thoughts, silence your mind.

Rest in God,

When you rest your heart in God.

You will experience that inner peace and strength.

You need that inner stillness and peace even more,

were things to really happen to you.

In peace, you will have the power and strength to endure whatever happens.

Just keep repeating, be still and know that I am God.

And you will experience that stillness of mind and heart,

There is power in mantras.

Mantras are affirmation. 

Therein lies their power.

So keep repeating to yourself,

Be still and know that I am God.

And you will experience that peace and trust in God. 

God in me

In my dark night of soul,

I looked inside and asked,

Who should I turn to my bulwark and strength?

I feel like a ship without a rudder.

I looked at Jesus, at Yogananda, at Babaji.

Then turned my eyes back on Jesus.

When I saw more than heard.

You have God in you.

I saw clearly then, God in me.

My power and strength comes from God in me.

I rest on that truth.

My spirit team, help me go into this.

From small, we were taught God,

As a being dwelling in heaven.

A God we turn to in prayers.

Said to be loving, kind and benevolent.

A God sitting on a throne in heaven.

Later, I learned God is in us.

In all of us.

And to seek God there.

But what helped me most was when I learned,

we are gods, we come from the being of God.

Coming from God, we possess the save Divine nature as God.

As Emmet Fox put it, we are however manifestations of God.

God is the Cause, the supreme being, the Intelligent Infinity, the Infinite creator.

We all possess this Divine nature in us, this Divine Spark in us.

Be still and know that I am God.

Look around you and see the manifestation of my being.

I am very alive, living in you, in everything in and outside of you.

I am God, your heavenly Father, the Supreme Being.

I am by whatever name you choose to call me.

I am that Primordial Being, the Alpha, the Omega.

I am God. 

Know that I am God.

I am that power in you.

I am that strength in you.

With me, you will not fear.

You will live forever.

Samadhi?

As I settled into meditation.

I found myself entering a zone state.

It was very nice.

A gentle force taking me over.

I stayed the entire hour in that zone out state.

My spirit team, what energy am I experiencing?

I am still in it.

Awakening, you are further awakening.

It is a state of Samadhi.

Where you cease to be, 

Aware only of this gentle force taking you over.

A force you know to be sublime, Divine.

Dreams and messages

I dreamed my sister said she has a problem to solve and asked us to pitch in.

She wrote a long post on it.

I thought, my spirit team just told me to be aware of ongoing news.

And then detach and stay in a spirit of trust, love and joy.

I did not write anything and woke up.

I am doing exactly that.

Watch some news to stay aware.

Then watch some spiritual videos.

And stay in a state of trust, love and joy.

All three eliminate fears and heaviness of anxieties.

It came to me.

We have everything to gain keeping a spirit of joy.

And more to lose, engaging in fears.

Trust eliminates fears and I hold onto that.

Trust in God. Trust in the Universe.

Trust that the world is in the hands of God, of the Universe.

Crying with the Universe

This morning, as I walked the dogs.

I stopped and looked inside me and my soul cried.

My soul wept for all the sufferings happening around me.

I knew I was crying with the Universe.

My spirit team, what say you?

You once asked, does the Universe feel your pain.

Now, you know,  the universe do feel your pain.

For the Universe is alive,

It is consciousness.

It feels your pain.

When you feel the pain of those suffering.

Open your heart, feel and suffer with them.

It is like this big pulsating heart of oneness.

When one limb suffers, do not the other limb suffer with it?

That action would give comfort and strength to those needing it.

Whatever you do, whatever you feel, whatever you send out,

the Universe feel it.

The Universe experience it.

Love and suffer in unity.

When you are of this oneness.

You know you are not alone.

That the Universe has eyes.

The Universe feels and suffers with you.

However,  even as you feel that sadness and suffering,

take heart in the Lord.

Rejoice and take heart in the Lord.

Trust, smile and laugh in trust.

Love and joy will elevate your spirit.

And elevate the spirit of everyone around you.

This love and joy, you are able to send far and wide.

Allow yourself the sadness.

Then laugh with joy and trust.

Laugh even  if you have to fake it.

Knowing joy, love and trust are powerful weapons.